The Art of List-Making: Eight Paths to a Softer Life
Here are the lists I'm building for myself — you’re welcome to take, change, or dream your own. 𖤓
Dear reader,
After some time of feeling burnt out, I’m finally starting to feel the fog lift, and I’m back to writing and curating more. Today, I want to dive a little deeper into something I’ve been relying on over the past months — lists.
There’s something quietly powerful about lists. When used thoughtfully, they can help us untangle the noise in our minds, organize our intentions, and bring clarity. It’s not just about the dopamine hit of ticking off every item; it’s about using lists as a tool for reflection, growth, and space for self-compassion. Keep reading to learn about some of the lists I’ve come to rely on lately and get a few tips on how you can start incorporating them into your own routine.
But first, Susan Sontag on why lists appeal to us:
“I perceive value, I confer value, I create value, I even create — or guarantee — existence. Hence, my compulsion to make “lists.” The things (Beethoven’s music, movies, business firms) won’t exist unless I signify my interest in them by at least noting down their names.
Nothing exists unless I maintain it (by my interest, or my potential interest). This is an ultimate, mostly subliminal anxiety. Hence, I must remain always, both in principle + actively, interested in everything. Taking all of knowledge as my province.”
— Diary entry dated August 9, 1967
The Glow List
→ Little activities that instantly make me feel more alive, beautiful, or connected to myself — like a nervous system reset.
Starters:
Sitting in the sunlight for five minutes with my eyes closed.
Putting on a piece of jewelry I love, even if I am just staying home.
Soaking my feet in hot water and Epsom salt for 12–15 minutes.
Making a beautiful snack plate, full of fats and protein.
Why it helps:
You don’t have to earn feeling good. Tiny acts of beauty and care can pull you back into aliveness in under five minutes.
Frequency:
Add 1–2 new ideas every month as you discover tiny things that lift you.
Tip:
Keep this list easily accessible (taped inside your journal or saved in your notes app) for days when everything feels dull.
The Tiny Wins List (aka The Reverse To-Do List)
→ A running list of daily micro-achievements or completed tasks to combat the feeling that I’m not doing enough or could’ve been more productive.
Moments:
Put together a nourishing meal when I was tempted to skip eating.
Started winding down at work 30 minutes earlier than usual.
Protected a slow morning instead of over-scheduling, as I often do on Saturdays.
Washed, dried, folded, and put away three loads of laundry.
Sat on the floor engaging with the kids without letting anything interrupt us.
Why it helps:
This list silences the endless “I could have done more” soundtrack. You realize you’re living and tending, even when it feels invisible.
Frequency:
Update daily or at least a few times a week to build a steady archive of proof.
Tip:
End your day by adding at least three wins — they can be the size of a grain of rice. They still count.
The Nourishment Archive
→ A library of essays, newsletters, poems, videos, or short readings that reliably nourish my spirit when I’m feeling unmoored.
Sources of Comfort:
A favorite Mary Oliver poem that reminds me I belong to the world.
A three-minute meditation I return to when my mind spins.
A newsletter from a writer who feels like a wise friend.
Why it helps:
You don’t have to start from scratch when you’re depleted. You can turn to a tried-and-tested well of carefully curated gems.
Frequency:
Refresh seasonally or whenever you find a new piece that feeds you.
Tip:
If you want to take it a step further, organize content by mood — e.g., "For when I’m anxious" or "For when I’m numb and need inspiration."
The Pocket Gratitudes
→ Tiny, highly specific gratitude notes — the kind that feel like a tight, warm hug when I reread them later.
Glimmers:
Fresh sheets that smell like my husband’s favorite laundry detergent.
The first sip of coffee after a long night of repeatedly getting the toddlers back to sleep.
A spontaneous text from someone who remembered something small about me.
Why it helps:
Specificity = magic. The more you notice tiny pleasures, the more your nervous system learns to trust the world again.
Frequency:
Capture a moment or two every few days or during your evening wind-down.
Tip:
Use all five senses when you can — what did it smell like, sound like, taste like?
The Someday Rituals List
→ A dreamy list of habits, ceremonies, or rituals I want to weave into my life someday, when the season is right or when it feels natural, not forced.
Rituals I Dream About:
Tracking and planning seasonal eating by the month.
Lighting a candle before beginning any mundane task, as a way to romanticize it.
Celebrating the first snowfall of the year with hot chocolate and a walk with the family.
Why it helps:
Not all change has to be urgent. Some dreams need the right time — when you are able to drop some things, or when you are more financially able.
Frequency:
Revisit on the solstice or equinox of every season to see what new rituals you’re yearning for and update with recent desires.
Tip:
Write them without judgment. Some rituals will be for this season of life; some will wait for later.
Richard Serra, Verb List Compilation: Actions to Relate to Oneself
1967-1968
to roll, to crease, to fold, to store, to bend, to shorten, to twist, to dapple, to crumple, to shave, to tear, to chip, to split, to cut, to sever, to drop, to remove, to simplify, to differ, to disarrange, to open, to mix, to splash, to knot, to spill, to droop, to flow
to curve, to lift, to inlay, to impress, to fire, to flood, to smear, to rotate, to swirl, to support, to hook, to suspend, to spread, to hang, to collect, of tension, of gravity, of entropy, of nature, of grouping, of layering, of felting, to grasp, to tighten, to bundle, to heap, to gather
to scatter, to arrange, to repair, to discard, to pair, to distribute, to surfeit, to compliment, to enclose, to surround, to encircle, to hole, to cover, to wrap to dig, to tie, to bind, to weave, to join, to match, to laminate, to bond, to hinge, to mark, to expand, to dilute, to light
to modulate, to distill, of waves, of electromagnetic, of inertia, of ionization, of polarization, of refraction, of tides, of reflection, of equilibrium, of symmetry, of friction, to stretch, to bounce, to erase, to spray, to systematize, to refer, to force, of mapping, of location, of context, of time, of carbonization, to continue
The Creative Crushes List
→ A rotating gallery of artists, writers, makers, and thinkers whose energy, work, and vision I feel magnetized by.
Muses:
A painter I’ve loved for decades whose colors still make my heart yearn for more.
A writer who dares to tell the soft, complicated truth.
An artist whose medium feels like poetry for the body.
Why it helps:
Tracking your creative crushes reveals your own taste, your longings, your future self taking shape.
Frequency:
Add bimonthly or whenever you feel a spark of admiration for someone’s work.
Tip:
Revisit this list when you feel uninspired — you’ll always leave having picked up something new.
The Energy Leaks Map
→ A regularly updated map of activities, spaces, and interactions that drain my energy, so I can patch the leaks.
Places to Notice:
Keeping my phone nearby during creative time.
Saying “yes” to invitations from a person I don’t actually want to hang out with, out of obligation.
Pretending not to need rest when I do.
Why it helps:
Leaks you can name are leaks you can mend.
Frequency:
Review and update every month to stay aware of shifting patterns.
Tip:
Compassion first — noticing leaks is about self-love, not self-criticism.
The Quiet Goals List
→ Tender, private hopes and things I want to achieve someday but am not yet ready to say out loud.
Why it helps:
Some dreams need protection and space to root quietly before being exposed to the noise of the world.
Frequency:
Revisit quietly once or twice a year — when you feel the nagging sense of “I need this in my life.”
Tip:
Treat this list like a secret garden. You can peek in anytime, water it gently, and trust that growth is happening — or engage with yourself to move in that direction.
The beauty of lists is in their simplicity — they don’t need to be elaborate or perfect. They’re just gentle prompts that help me stay connected to what matters most. If you’re feeling the weight of busyness or burnout, I hope these ideas inspire you to create your own lists, ones that reflect your unique needs and desires, and offer a way to pause and breathe.
Until next time,
—D
From the Archives
🌱 Digital Garden Digest: Cultivating Intentional Online Spaces — a quiet rebellion against consumption without digestion
🔥 The Anti-Burnout Blueprint — small, steady ways to protect your energy and spark
🍒 A Dopamine Menu — tiny things to reach for when nothing feels good
This is so well compiled! Thank you for sharing this gem with us!
This was so thoughtful and as I am too emerging from stagnation and mother burn out into looking at the return to creative life (or more intentional deadline creative life) I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s taking my time away and what is nourishing or not and wanting to make those changes. I think it would be so nice to put a check mark next to sitting in the sun or going for a walk around my neighborhood or picking some lupine. Really thank you for this beauty of an essay.